Why Me?
Why did this disease chose me?
An incurable disease which took away my legs,
Slowly… I’ll be bed-ridden or even unable to talk someday,
Frozen dreams and uncertain future are awaiting, all I know,
I cannot accept it as the word “fate”,
Reality is too cruel, as well as too brutal,
As I think about my future, my eyes brim with tears .
In the days of changing seasons, I felt how long the days are,
Dragging along memories of the past,
I was able to run and walk under beautiful weather,
But now,
I told myself, it’s alright to stay the same,
without knowing the meaning of living.
No matter how optimistic I am,
I’ll never see a single ray of hope shine anymore,
Even though I passed the same path as yesterday,
It was completely different.
Humans are the only greedy creatures, who want to live longer,
Even tough it’s impossible
Is it really greed to wish for it?
I asked myself daily with full of doubts.
I’ve decided to embrace my future with no regrets,
I shouldn’t be dwelling and relying on my past,
Even though I was hurt by those heartless glances….
Those glances also helped me to understand,
that there still exist gentle glances.
I know I will lose my dreams and ambitions slowly someday,
Isn’t great I could pass on my dreams that I had to give up?
Has somehow encouraged me to become stronger,
Gives me reasons to me to find answers to my doubts;
To stop my pace and live in the present,
Not to run away from reality, but to face them with courage,
Through all the periods of sufferings,
I realised it’s enough to try my best in what I’m doing now,
Continue to be grateful for what am I today,
However, the one day will come where
I’ll do what I can to obtain those days of laughter.
Avalon
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